Monday, June 8, 2009

The ABC's of Me

A - Age: I Just turned 21 for the 3rd time

B - Bed size: 34D ... oh. read that wrong.

C - Chore you hate: sponge bathing my mother. I only do it once a month, so it gets pretty messy.

D - Dog's name: Jose

E - Essential start your day item: My vibrator.

F - Favorite books: Dating a Narcissist for Dummies, Getting to Know His Other Personality, How to Turn Your Man into a Jealous Possessive Lunatic.

G - Gold or Silver: I'd much prefer a 6 pack and a pocket rocket. great gifts.

H - Height: Fluctuates, Depending on how tall my date is...

I - Instruments you play: The skin flute.

J - Job title: Bounty Hunter/Lion Tamer

K - Kid(s): ...are all ugly and stupid compared to my baby :) ... (Except for your child, of course. So cute and smart.)

L - Living arrangements: I have beds available for you working girls out there. 50/50 split.

M - Mom's Maiden name: Bitch

N - Nicknames: "Ash", "Cutie Pie", "You lying cheating bitch I swear to god I loved your stupid ass and you go out and fuck some Dominican dude behind my back". I get called that last one a lot.

O - Over the top in love with: You baby, I swear.

P - Pet Peeve: When my uncle uses an alias to try and hire me as his hooker. I keep telling him I would NEVER do that. Especially since he shorted me $20 that one time.

Q - Quote from a movie: "Mind if I smoke while you're eating?" .... heh heh

R - Right or left handed: I'm an excellent multi-tasker... I've even learned how to incorporate my feet.

S - Siblings: ... are like O'Douls... Tastes the same, but it's just wrong.

T - Time you wake up: Party time

U - Underwear: ...aren't nearly as fun as the look on the pilates instructor's face when he clearly sees that I'm not wearing any.

V - Vegetable you like: cucumber, carrot, plantain, turkey baster

W - Workout style: reverse cowgirl

X - X-rated movies: ...are an excellent source of income.

Y - Yesterday's best moment: So many... probably when he said "I think that's more like a 'city peacock'..." ... the sex was a close second.

Z - Zoo favorite: I love the Asian's. Oh wait... that's not the zoo... that's the cat house.

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