Without a Man...

I make my own money...
I cook my own meals...
I provide for my family...
I tell you I'll call, but then never get back to you...
I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of commitment....
I'll sleep with anything I'm physically attracted to...

I'm JUST like a guy! .... But I'm not. I am a STRONG female. I do NOT need a man to hold it down... I hold it down my own self. So WHY do I still come across problems when I'm living on my own?

I've been single, and living on my own since December, 2008. I was doing FINE. MORE THAN FINE. Until today... I woke up this morning at about 5:30am... walked into my kitchen to get some Gatorade... turned on the light... and AHHHHHHH... in the center of my kitchen was a humongous, slimey, gyrating cockroach on it's back. I fucking freaked. 6 months ago, I'da reacted in 2 ways: 1.Scream and run, and 2. Holler for my man to take care of it. I'm not sure which of the 2 reactions it was, but ONE of them got rid of the roach, everytime. Without Fail.
This morning, I reacted the same way I always did. Scream and run, holler for my man. But this time- neither of those got rid of my roach.
Oh my god.... What was I supposed to do? Yeah- I make 10x's more $$$ than any guy I've ever dated... I got my own place, my own money, my own career... I'm NOT ready for a relationship, I've raised my daughter practically by myself, and I can do it ALL on my own. So WHY the fuck couldn't I pick up a gawddamned half dead cockroach?
I was determined to take care of this as well as I'd taken care of every other single aspect of my life. I got a bottle of bleach, a roll of paper towels, gloves, and a broom. I stood in the kitchen for about 10 minutes... then..... I called my dad. He came over, and picked up the bug.
Gawd damn woman, you need to learn how to be a man. I really thought I had everything on my own, until this morning. This morning was the first morning I'd EVAR missed being in a relationship. I didn't miss my ex- I just missed a MAN. I had taken for granted all the manly man stuff men do. I thought, maybe I should just give in, and commit to someone.... but then I thought- I felt so strong, so powerful, so proud to be a single independent woman- until of course, I thought "Now, who the hell is gonna take out my trash?" .....